Your destiny, your purpose, your dream baby!
So you are trying to fulfill your destiny, but you are having challenges. I’ll tell you what, you are not the first woman, or first man, who has had trouble creating a baby! Your baby is on its way. It’s just taking a bit longer than you expected. Hang in there. Keep trying and keep your chin up. You know what they say. Everything in its own time. Your baby too will come when the time is right, or when the stars they are aligned.
The more you can hold onto the idea that a baby will be yours in the future, the more likely you are to ride that emotional roller coaster well. Remember in this day and age, you can bring a baby home, a number of ways.
If you keep yourself open to having a baby via alternate means, you are more than likely to raise a child, in your future. It’s really true. Science has really progressed. No one really needs to be childless these days.
You can do many things to try to enhance that fertile journey. You can eat better. You can exercise more. You can reduce toxins in your home environment. You can also work on reducing anxiety, and stress. You can strive for balance. There are multiple apps out there, that you can use to help you with each one of these endeavors.
In an attempt to cool out, you could take a yoga class, or learn how to meditate, or maybe just take your honey and go on awesome well deserved vacation. If a big vacation is out of the question, how about a mini one, for a long weekend. If flying to some amazing destination is not in the cards, how about a trip, just a hour or so, away from home. Just getting into new surroundings can do you a world of good. It can take the edge off, and allow you to proceed toward the next logical step, that just might bring a darling little baby into your world.
One thing you want to try to avoid is being in so much angst, because you don’t have your baby, that you can’t enjoy the things you do have. When you are childless, you are footloose and fancy free! Once you have that baby, you will never again be unencumbered. You will always have responsibility, and you will always be looking out for the well-being of your child. Their needs always come first and foremost.
If this is your first baby, then you have never been through a sleepless night, nursing your feverish baby. You’ve never had to drop everything at work, and run to the school, because your child is vomiting. You’ve never had to cancel plans, because the babysitter isn’t going to know how to deal with the awful stomach pains and diarrhea your child has. You just go out on the town, unless you or your date is feeling under the weather. It’s just so simple. Again, footloose and fancy free. Enjoy it while it lasts!
If it’s time to enlarge your family, you have a good idea of what you are getting yourself into. Remember, you will never again have the same amount of time for the children you already have. Enjoy these precious moments. You will never pass this way again. It just might be that it’s your destiny to have a larger family. You may not feel fulfilled, until your family grows to a certain size. Some parents just love having little ones around, and will take as many as they can get their arms around.
I know of one woman, who was trying to conceive her ninth child in her mid- forties. She just wasn’t done, and she was sure of it. She had a mad hankering for another baby, and her spouse felt the same way. So the two of them were at it, until one came along. And you know what? By George, they had a healthy little boy. So I say, “God Bless them!” It’s none of my business how many children they have. Yet some people were giving them a really hard time about stretching their budget, and their other resources once again. These people felt like it was their mission to keep this couple from procreating again. Some people. Anyway, with the ninth baby, this couple finally felt complete.
How large anybody’s family is is a very personal matter. Others would say it’s up to God, and leave it at that. When you think about it, what is the right size family for you? Do you want the same size, as the family you grew up in? Or do you have some different plans? How will family size affect your life, as the head of the family? Do you, and your spouse have similar plans? Heck, I hope so. If you want 10, and he wants 2, it just might create some marital conflict. Hopefully, you came to some mutual agreement, on this matter, before the nuptials.
Do you have any sense about what the spread of ages from top to bottom should be, between your eldest and youngest, and how quickly the children should come along in between? Some have children like stair steps, one after the next. Others like to have a child every three years, to give the youngest a bit of time, before a sibling comes along, and literally takes their spot in Mama’s lap.
I knew one woman who had 8 children in 9 years. Sounds wild. However, she had two sets of twins which meant 6 pregnancies in 9 years, not 8. Still it would entirely rock my world to have no children and then 8, 9 years later.
I know it seems a little funny TT is think about having so many children, when you are having difficulty creating just one. But once you crack the code, the sky may be the limit. You just have to figure out how to have that first one, and then just rinse and repeat!
So even if you are having challenges, know that a baby can be yours, in this lifetime. We just have to figure out how to get you one! Your are not living in dark ages. There are plenty of methods to help you create your own baby, and there are ways of using others’ DNA, if you can’t use yours or your partner’s. There is also adoption, international adoption and foster to adopt. So cheer up, a baby is surely on the way for you, if you want one badly enough.
Once you have one baby, you can consider whether or not you want to grow your family. It’s awfully nice for your precious little one to have a sibling. Children learn so much from their brothers and sisters. Why don’t you make sure to get one for your little baby?
If you stick with it, I’m sure your destiny will be fulfilled. In fulfilling your destiny, you will create a more purposeful life. Research suggests that purpose creates happiness. Show me a man or a woman with purpose, and I will show you a happy person. First, let’s get that baby in your arms, so you can go home!
Never Give Up the Dream,
Lisa J Lafave, PhD, eMBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks
The Fertility Coach at Coaching Rocks
Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Heights, Ohio