There are so many ways to make a baby and you can spend quite a bit of time working at it through a variety of means:
The old fashioned way
Adoption
Foster Care
International Adoption
Artificial Insemination (AI)
Embryo Adoption an Insemination
In Virto Fertilization (IVF)
Surrogacy
Once you’ve tried many and ruled out some of the others, it may occur to you that surrogacy is for you!
In my case, I started the old fashioned way, and progressed to surrogacy once my relationship with my boyfriend was over. I quickly ruled surrogacy out, and then went right through most of the other methods, just to end up back in the surrogacy boat. What you need to know is I spent 14 years trying other methods! Then once I embraced surrogacy totally I had my children within 14 months. My kids would be 19 1/2 and in college had I pursued surrogacy to its logical conclusion the first time. But then again I wouldn’t have Jarvie and Giles, if I’d done that, because I purchased their father’s sperm circa 2009 and found our egg donor around the same time!
I cannot say you will have the same speedy result I did, nor can I even say you will be successful at all. What I can say is that the doctor I worked with, Dr. David Smotrich, of La Jolla IVF, boosts a surrogacy success rate of 85%! Now that’s huge. He can have results like these not only due to his own prowess but also owing to the addition of youth being on his side. An embryologist once told me that youth trumps all in the fertility game! Never forget those words of wisdom. You want youthful sperm, youthful eggs and a youthful surrogate. Keep that in the forefront of your mind as you select those on your surrogacy team. Said another way, all three legs of the surrogacy stool must embody youth.
Surrogacy is costly, but it may be the means to end your suffering and make your dream of having a baby and a family come true. When you think of the ROI, it doesn’t really seem so costly. Go ahead get in the game. If you’ve got the costs covered, you really have nothing to lose!
If I knew then, what I know now, I would have done it sooner. I would have done it in a blink of an eye. Which would have afforded me the chance to be younger raising my children and a longer life with my children. My delay may seriously have cost me the chance to ever know my grandkids and my journey with my children is significantly shortened which costs all of us immeasurably. Go ahead. Get in the game! No more time to waste! Do it! Do it now!
Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC
The Surrogacy Coach from Surrogacy Rocks
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Heights, Ohio