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IVF doctor

Surrogacy

June 27, 2018 by Lisa Lafave

For some people, if they really want a baby, Surrogacy just might be their only option. It works well when people have enough money to fund the project, which just might cost upwards of $135K, and are unable to create a baby, with even the assistance of more traditional IVF.

In traditional IVF, the mother takes shots of a medicine like Clomid, to help her hyper secrete eggs, which can then be removed from her body, such that egg and sperm can be joined outside the womb, in a laboratory. Once the cells have been allowed to divide and grow for about 5 days in a Petri dish, the best of the embryos are chosen and then placed in the intended mother’s body. The embryo transfer occurs at just the right time, in the intended mother’s cycle, through the benefits of medicine, to help her intrauterine lining build up enough to create an environment, in which the fledgling embryo can, not only attach to the the uterine lining, but also thrive and multiply.

In surrogacy, an individual or a couple may opt to use their own DNA along with that of their partner’s DNA, or use either, or both donor egg and donor sperm. Again egg and sperm are joined outside the surrogate’s body, and left for about five days to mature, before the embryo transfer is made into the surrogate’s body, where it will hopefully remain until birth. Thus the difference between more traditional IVF, and IVF in the case of Surrogacy is that the embryo in traditional IVF goes inside the intended mother’s body, while in Surrogacy the embryo is transferred to the surrogate. In the case of Surrogacy, the intended mother then waits roughly 10 months patiently for her baby, while it is gestating inside the surrogate’s body.

Surrogacy involves interfacing with a variety of people and agencies and companies. First there are the sperm banks and the agencies that provide access to the egg donors and or surrogates. There will be people to meet and get to know at these agencies, who may guide and direct you. These people may be key in your process.

Couples or individuals need to make careful work of determining what parameters make for the ideal egg donor or sperm donor, and then set out to find someone, who matches up to that ideal, more or less. Then, you may be interviewing egg donors and surrogates. As you can imagine, the surrogate you choose will be a crucial person in this experience. You can develop a relationship with this person that may be close, or more distant, depending on each of your needs and temperaments. She will be a major resource for information, regarding your developing child. You will want to be sure to treat her, at all times, with the respect she deserves in this process.

You may also interview IVF doctors at various companies, and determine who will be your fertility lawyer, for your whole journey, or various legs of your journey. You want to be sure to use an experienced doctor, and lawyer, so you can get the best advice, as to how to proceed in various scenarios.

If all goes well, there will also be personnel at the hospital that will be important, as the surrogate goes through the labor and delivery, and then hands your dream baby over to you. Depending on where you are in the country, staff at the hospital may be more, or less experienced with surrogacy. This will in turn affect how they relate to you, as the intended parent, as well as, how they treat your surrogate.

How you treat each of these people will affect your experience with your process. So you want to pull out all of your people skills, and use them wisely, as you meet, and interact with these folks. You may be surprised to find that at different times you are going to need their help, with different aspects of your surrogacy process.

Coaching Rocks understands how sensitive and critical each step in the Surrogacy process is. Couples and individuals seeking a baby through Surrogacy are likely to want to discuss each step of the journey, and may need help in establishing what their next step in the journey is. Frustrations, with the process, need a place where they can be vented, in order to move the process forward.

Do you think Surrogacy might right for you? First consider, do you have the funds for Surrogacy, as well as, enough money to raise your baby, once the baby is born? If you will be financially wiped out by the surrogacy process, this is probably not the right method for you to select, to create your family, or add another baby to your family.

Never Forget the Dream and Don’t Forget to Leap Into Action,

Lisa

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
The Surrogacy Coach of Coaching Rocks
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Hts, Ohio

Filed Under: Dream Baby aka Babies Rock, Infertility Treatments, Surrogacy Made Easy Tagged With: Coaching Rocks, Egg Donor, Fertility Lawyer, Infertility treatments, IVF doctor, Lisa J Lafave, Lisa Lafave, Sperm Donor, Surrogacy, Surrogate, The Surrogacy Coach at Coaching Rocks

The ABCs of Surrogacy

September 10, 2015 by Lisa Lafave

There are 3 essential people that you need to locate to help you create your child through surrogacy. First, you need a sperm donor. Second, you need an egg donor and third, you need a surrogate mother. In some cases you or your partner may be able to provide the DNA (egg and / or sperm). In other cases, you will need to locate all three of these people to help you with your journey.

Simply googling sperm donor, egg donor or surrogate will take you far in your search. Although you may gain access to sperm donor databases almost immediately, you will not find your egg donor, nor surrogate immediately. For these two, you will need to complete an intended parent application. So there may be a day or two between completing the application and gaining access to the information about the egg donors and surrogate.

As you narrow the field and determine which company you are working with, you will no doubt find people there who are guiding and directing you. These people will play a significant role in your process.

Generally speaking, you will look for your people in the order suggested above. First you’ll find your sperm donor, then your egg donor and finally your surrogate. And there are good reasons for this. Your sperm is generally on ice, so it can wait while you find the rest of your team. No need courting a surrogate, until you already have your egg donor in place. Remember once you have your egg donor, you want to find that surrogate pretty quickly thereafter, so as not to gobble up your egg donor’s time. This is after all, business for them and time is money!

In addition to these three essential people, you will also need an IVF doctor to handle the medical issues and a lawyer to handle the legal matters associated with your surrogacy arrangement.

Once you have selected your egg donor and surrogate, your doctor will screen them to be sure they are suitable for your needs. Don’t be surprised if you have to go back to the drawing board and review the databases again to select a new egg donor or surrogate.

You will need a lawyer to represent your interests in the writing of your contracts with both the egg donor and the surrogate, should there be a dispute in the future. In fact, you will also have to pay for your egg donor and your surrogate to have their own separate lawyer to represent them in the preparation and final signing of these same contracts.

All of that said, of course you will also need the doctor, or clinic, mentioned above, who will handle the clearance of the egg donor and surrogate, as well as the syncing of their cycles, the egg removal, fertilization of the egg with the sperm, observation of the embryos as they divide, and the transfer of the embryos into the surrogate.

Later on you will interface with the hospital staff where your baby is born. This location is generally up to the discretion of the surrogate herself. Of course, the hospital has something to do with the surrogate’s insurance. If she is uninsured, you can purchase insurance for her for this purpose. Then the insurance that you purchase will have some bearing on which hospital the baby is born in.

One word of caution, if your baby or babies as the case may be end up in the NICU you will have a significant bill that you can look forward to paying for. If there is anyway you can manage having the baby born in a hospital that is within network for your insurance you can significantly reduce that bill. It is worth it to consider this issue upfront.

So to sum up, the people that you will be looking for include your sperm donor, your egg donor and your surrogate, as well as your IVF doctor and your reproductive law lawyer.

So have at it! Those babies won’t make themselves! Go great guns in your search! Happy hunting!

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC
The Surrogacy Coach at Surrogacy Rocks
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in Univeristy Heights, Ohio

Leap Into Action!

Filed Under: Surrogacy Made Easy Tagged With: Coaching Rocks, Egg Donor, IVF doctor, Lisa J Lafave, Lisa Lafave, Lisa Lafave Surrogacy Rocks, LLC, Reproductive law, Single Mom By Choice, Sperm Donor, Surrogacy, Surrogacy Rocks, surrogate mother

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