Your Reward Is Your Baby
I know you feel like you are doing a lot of hard work, to get your baby. And I know that it so very disappointing every month, that the pregnancy test shows you did not conceive, and did not achieve your objective. I know it is even worse, when you did conceive, and the baby didn’t stick. And worse yet, when you get further along your journey and miscarry. These loses are all traumatic. But you must get through these loses to get to the actual baby, that is meant to be your forever baby.
I know for some the natural conception thing is not meant to be. You may wrestle with that idea quite a bit. We all quite naturally want our own child, coming from our own DNA. But sometimes it just can’t happen, and if you are in this boat you will have to decide what is best for you, 1) no baby at all, or 2) if you have the financial wherewithall, you might pick IVF, with someone else’s DNA, or 3) you might even choose to farm the whole process out, and have a baby through surrogacy, or 4) you might prefer to go the adoption route, and help out a child, who has no parent at the ready. If you choose adoption, you will have to decide what to focus on, domestic adoption, international adoption or foster to adopt. Once you decide where you belong, you can move through your next paces. They may not be easy, but you can work on what is before you, in order to bring your dream baby home.
No matter what option you pick, Coaching Rocks can be at your side, to urge you on, and help you through your process. You could work with someone one on one, or in a group. You can contact us and arrange a complimentary Discovery Call to see if you feel like Coaching Rocks is the right coaching resource for you.
Never forget your dream baby is at the end of the road! When you do conceive, and it sticks, and the pregnancy goes well, your reward is a darling little baby boy, or baby girl, or maybe even both! You will be on the top of the world. You’ll want to sing it out to the moon and the stars! Your dream baby has arrived.
Who wouldn’t be delighted with a baby, with a darling little nose, a smile like your partner’s, and eyebrows like your father’s? This baby is indeed your reward for all the extra effort and all the labor you went through to bring this baby home, not matter what the method. It’s truly amazing how often adopted children, or surrogacy babies, with no DNA in common with their parents, can grow to look like their family members.
Once you have your baby, and care for your baby, it truly does not matter to you how you came by your child. You take the child as your own. People often place far to much emphasis on DNA.
How many of you are animal lovers? How many actually have animals? You don’t have any DNA in common with your pet, be it a dog, a cat, a snake, a goat, or a bunny rabbit. But you still may have a deep love for your animal. You may have a trusting, and fun loving relationship with that animal, that does not depend on a DNA connection.
I use beloved pets, as an example, because they are family. They are a close second to children. We care about how they feel. We care about the quality of their day. We want them to have a satisfied tummy and a good night’s sleep. We take them on outtings with us. They are there for us, when we low. We spend our good times, and our bad times with them. They know us best. We intervene, as best we can, when our animals are sick, and we grieve, when they die. Oh how we grieve! There is really nothing like losing a trusted pet.
Rightly or wrongly, many of us treat our animals like family, or like children. Many of us even refer to our beloved pets, as our babies, or our fur babies. In fact, it makes no difference to us that they are a different species. We actually relish in the differences. We don’t need them to be from the same tribe as ours to love them with the intensity that we do. I believe the love comes from the relationship. I believe you love what, and who you care for, DNA aside.
Interestingly, many of you probably coupled up, moved in together, and then got a dog, or a cat. Your fur baby was your first baby, your first commitment. Your first attempt at keeping a beloved other alive, through thick and thin, right in the the midst of all of your other obligations. It was kind of like your “starter baby.” If that went well, and you could negotiate with one another, about how to take care of that family member, maybe you felt like you just might be ready for a real live bouncing baby boy or girl. That dog or cat may have been the guinea pig, to see if the two of you could work together well enough to take care of that pet. That pet may have been a harbinger of things to come, more specifically, babies to come.
Have you ever noticed how some people get married, and divorce just before you thought they might have that first baby? Well, fortunately, they figured out they weren’t matched well, and were not up to the task of parenting a child together, so they split up, before they had one. In my estimation, they weren’t up for the big commitment of having a child together. Marriage, and having a house, and a pet together were one thing, but having a child together is the real commitment.
Most of you reading this are ready for that child, singly, or coupled up, you want that baby now. My point in bringing up the animals is just to remind you that, if you can’t use your own DNA, you will still be able to fall in love deeply, with your child. It really can be okay. It really can be no big deal. It all depends on how you decide to view it.
Once you have that baby that you’ve dreamed about for so long, you are off to the races! It’s one bottle or one breastfeeding moment after the next, and one burping session after the next, and then one diaper after the next. You’ll be doing one bath after the next, one clothing change after the next, and so on, and so forth. You and your baby will be giggling and smiling at one another in no time. You will be continually showing off your baby to family and friends, and even to strangers, or passerbys. Your baby will become your pride and joy. As the days pass by, you will fall deeply in love, with your little treasure. He or she will be the apple of your eye, and the fruit of your labor. I think you will agree that this little angel was worth all the bother after all. All those trials and tribulations will seem quite trivial, when you have that little one sitting in your lap, or snuggling in your arms, about to slip off to sleep.
Next thing you know, you will be going to outings at the local playground, Mommy and Me Meetups, swimming lessons, gymnastics, and music classes. You will be so fully immersed in your new life with your baby, you will hardly even remember what life was like, without your little one.
So remember, your dream baby is your reward, for all the hard work that you must do to get that baby, and bring him, or her home, to the little nest you have so carefully prepared.
Never Forget the Dream and Leap Into Action!
Lisa J Lafave, PhD, eMBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks
The Fertility Coach At Coaching Rocks
Single Mother by Choice of Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written In My Little Brick in University Hts, Ohio