Even Seals Take Care of Each Other

Jarvie: If some seals are playing a game or having a race and one seal gets hit by some ice falling into the water, the thing for the rest of the seals to do, is to stop the game or the race and see if the one seal is okay. (Pause, then Sternly) That’s the thing to do!

Mommy: Very good. I agree. That is the thing to do!

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
A Single Mom By Choice of Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Hts, Ohio

Jarvie is 6 years old.

If You Fail, Do You Throw In The Towel?

I’ve really been through the ringer this last year. I had major back surgery, including three separate procedures at L4 L5 in May 2015, and then total knee replacement in January of 2016.

In December 2015, I had 3 kidney stones in 2 weeks, with 3 more ready to pop. I discovered the diet I was on was causing the kidney stones and clearly not going to work for me, medically speaking. Surely, I could lose weight quickly on it, but it is not even remotely sustainable.

I lost 30 pounds in a few months and was thrilled. Then I had the obstacle of surgery, a hospital stay and a period of time when I couldn’t shop for myself or cook for myself. That was a challenge that I thought I could manage.

Long story short, I was very self indulgent and gained back 20 pounds. I feel heavier and sloppier now, than I did when I started, even though I weigh 10 pounds less! Funny how that works! I did that thing no one wants to do. Therefore, I will be retracing my steps once again, as I prepare to slide down the scale again, yet plan for a different outcome, when I get to where I am going!

This losing and regaining is referred to in the popular culture as yo-yo dieting. It is clearly not something I am proud of. Back in the day, when I lost weight, I kept it off for years. So what the heck is going on? I promise to come clean with the truth, when I figure it out.

What I did learn recently is that successful people are more able to handle or cope with the stress of failure. They seem to be more resilient and doggedly pursue their goal. They won’t accept failure as an end game. Once they get a bee in their bonnet, nothing can deter their determination. What would be failure with a capital F for some, is simply a setback, an obstacle or a road block for those successful types, who tolerate failure well.

I, for one, have decided to be one of those types who won’t take no for an answer. This recently gained weight, will not be my end game. I am going to get back on the horse and ride!

Indeed, I will need to chose an alternate path to success, but that is part of the fun of it! Remember, necessity is the mother of invention. As the prior eating regimen did not suffice, I will choose an alternate route. Once I have another clearly defined roadmap, I will share that with you in another post.

With this new knowledge under my cap, regarding successful people and their ease with failure, I am ready to leap toward the task before me, and save myself from any further damage. Let’s see how I do. Today, was the day I became completely aware of what had happened. That occurred simply by summoning up the courage to jump on the scale. That was the moment of reckoning.

I am three months out after my knee replacement and ready to walk through the neighborhood or the woods with the dogs, as a delightful form of exercise. I am no longer in the throws of recovery. I am largely beyond that now! Yippee! Time to let it rip and get back on track. No excuses.

So where have you been messing up? What responsibilities toward your body and yourself have you been shirking? Is it time to address those issues, or do you need to get further on down the pike with some other projects, before you can get back to brass tacks, and down to the business of taking care of you and your body?

Can you really afford to put it off? What might creep up that you would regret, if you continue to look in the other direction? Are you really willing to take that risk? Are you a gambling guy or gal? Do you really want to gamble here? Are you sure? Hold it right there. Take a minute right now. Take a few deep breaths and ask yourself again, are you willing to put it off, and continue to gamble with your health? A few of you may have just realized how valuable your health really is. You may be in the process at this very moment of formulating new plans, regarding how you can get back on track.

If you plan to put it off for awhile, what’s the time frame for getting back on track? What makes sense? Can you make a promise to yourself and keep it? Are you high enough up on your list of priorities to tackle your issue in the time frame you set forth today?

Okay, get out paper and pen or your phone or tablet and put in writing what you’ve been avoiding and when you will pick up the pieces in earnest. Make sure to date your writing. Put this somewhere where you will run into it again. Mark your calendar clearly when the kickoff of this new project will be. Be tactical. Develop a strategy or two to tip the scales toward success. Write those strategies down. Will you enlist a friend to join you in your quest or do you do better when you go it alone? If you are tackling it alone, can you monitor your progress, in writing, in order to keep your eyes on the prize?

What techniques have you used in the past when you’ve worked on similar projects that have put you in good stead? Are they applicable here? Any new and brainy ideas that you want to try this time around that you’ve never used before? What are they? Can you put those methods down here, so as not to lose sight of them?

Though your journey may be long, know that I am out here urging you along through the cosmos. Reach out through contact Lisa, if that feels too far away. Then we can talk through all the nitty gritty, to get you on your feet and moving. I look forward to hearing from those who want to reach out.

All my best,

Lisa

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
The Wellness Coach at Building Better Bodies Rocks!
A Single Mom By Choice of Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Hts, Ohio

Leap Into Action!

Comments and Kisses Before Bed

Last comments before sleep

Jarvie: Mommy I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone. I love you infinity infinity times more than anyone has ever imagined love!

Mommy: Oh Jarvie, I love you too, so very much!

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
A Single Mom By Choice of Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Hts, Ohio

Jarvie is 6 years old

Political Views of a Five Year Old

Giles: Mom I don’t want Donald Trump to be President.

Mom: Really dear?

Giles: Yeah, I think there should be a law that anyone with the first name Donald should not be allowed to become President.

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Heights, Ohio

Giles was 5 years old when he said this.

Old School Bubble Gum

While chewing Eclipse Classic Bubble Gum for the first time in the car

Giles: Mom I really like this old school bubble gum!

Mom: Good dear!

Giles: I call things that are classic, old school.

Mom: That works dear.

All my best to you,

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
The Wellness Coach form Building Better Bodies Rocks
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Heights, Ohio

Physical Therapy After Total Knee Replacement

Physical therapy is really what it’s all about after total knee replacement. You really have to trust yourself and keep up with your exercises after total knee replacement. You want to get that flexion and extension to where it needs to be and it will only happen with hard work.

After my total knee replacement surgery, I had physical therapy the day of the surgery. I was up and walking the day of surgery. The surgery was in the morning and I was walking that afternoon around 4:00 PM. Heck, no rest for the weary! The next, day I was walking up and down stairs. That was fantastic! I was not going to be limited to one floor post op. On the fourth day, I went home to begin my long recuperation. For the first three weeks, I had a physical therapis come to my home to work with me. Then I had a driver escort me back and forth from treatment and by the fifth week, I was driving myself back and forth from physical therapy.

I am now about three months out and doing fairly well. I am having trouble with a suture reaction, but that will resolve itself overtime. It is seen frequently and is not much to worry about.

So the flexion and extension that is measured at every visit with the physical therapist as a marker of progress has to be achieved before your body shuts down and change can no longer occur. You see you have a certain window during which the exercises can affect your ultimate outcome from the total knee replacement. The more you work it, the greater your flexibility will be for the life of your replacement unit! So don’t forget to work it.

For extension, my primary tool is a rolled up yoga mat with the plastic wrap still on it. I lay in bed with the mat at the end of the bed with my ankle resting on the mat. I flex my quads and hold for five seconds, then release. I do this over and over while watching TV and taking care that my foot does not roll outward, like a duck. If anything, you want the knee to roll in toward the other knee. Then you press downward and try to get that knee as flat as possible. Having a leg that straightens out fully is important for walking.

For flexion, you start with knee slides. You will sit in a chair with a rag under your foot. On a wooden, or tiled floor you will slide your foot out and back. You can do this same movement while laying on the floor with your butt a foot or so away from the wall. Again with a rag or pillow case under your foot, you will slide your foot up and down the wall. If need be, you will use your other foot as a weight to help the operative leg to slide further down and then hold while you count to five. Then release and move leg and foot back up the wall. You can also do knee slides in bed, while lying down. Don’t forget you can use the non operative foot to press Your other ankle back, to give your operative knee a better stretch!

I also like to use my bar chair for flexion. I have noticed that with my non operative leg I can flip my foot around the back of the bar down below. So I feel like I should ultimately be able to do this same maneuver with my foot on the operative side. At first, it was quite a feat just to get my foot on the bar and hold it to stetch out the knee while watching TV. Later the job was to push my foot farther and farther backward; first to heel, then to mid foot, later to toes. The thing about this chair is the bar lets me know exactly where I am at with moving the process forward. I am sure you will find your own favorite techniques, as you approach your own quest toward greater mobility post total knee replacement.

Have you ever been through a round of physical therapy? What tips or tricks did you use? What advice do you have for others who are just beginning physical therapy?

If you think you would benefit from enlisting someone to talk you through the process and hold you accountable, contact me and we can schedule a time to talk.

All my best to you,

Lisa

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
The Wellness Coach from Building Better Bodies Rocks
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Heights, Ohio

Leap Into Action!

What Emotions Emerge For You During A Relapse?

Relapse is difficult. It causes you to watch your gains slip away, like sand sifting through your fingers at the beach. Sometimes it feels like you just can’t stop the repercussions. It’s as though all the good that came before can’t be maintained. Stopping the damage may be nowhere in sight. The big fear that is lurking in the background is: what if I end up fatter than I was before? It’s confusing too, because it seems like you’ve lost all control. And how can that be when you were eating so clean for so long? The juxtaposition of the two, train wreck versus clean eating is stunning. You had been so virtuous for so long, and now the converse is true. You eat whatever appeals, no holds bar.

So what emotions appear as you stumble, no fall into the abyss? Of course as mentioned above there is fear, but there is also mounting shame with each pound gained. Disrespect for yourself emerges as you pull out pants you thought you’d never need again. Thank goodness you never got around to tossing them. Then there’s the sorrow of the dream lost or fallen from your grasp. There is also regret. Regret that you couldn’t just maintain the gains you’d achieved. Couldn’t you have simply stopped losing and just remained on a grand plateau. That would have been nice. At least nicer than the glacial slide that’s been occurring. So just to review some of the emotions that accompany relapse include fear, shame, regret, sorrow. Sounds pretty miserable.

Have you experienced some of these emotions? Do you have lack of regard for yourself or suffer from low self esteem as your weight loss achievement eludes you and slips away? Think of five adjectives that ring true for you to describe what you have been experiencing during your relapse?

What caused your relaps? When did you chuck it all and really let go? When did you really dig in and start dishing up your favorites, despite promises to yourself to refrain? Why did you let yourself go for so long? Did it seem like it happened while you weren’t looking? When did you notice things where slipping? Did you experience self revulsion or self hate? Did those feelings cause you to eat even more? Did you experience despair as you began your ascent up the scale? Did you feel out of control? How did you feel as your body morphed back to where it had been?

What is the best thing you can do to catch yourself and stop the damage? Can you set a date when you will commence eating in a self respecting manner again? Can you clean out your pantry once again. Can you shop with control on your side? Perhaps go through the store with restraint, and then before entering the check out line, review what is in your cart, and then remove any items that don’t measure up to your standards of healthy eating. When you go home develop some healthy menus for the next few days, and then cook and eat with care. You could concentrate on no seconds and serving your food on slightly smaller plates. Did you know that your plate and bowl size severely impacts the amount of food you dish out? If you don’t have any smaller dishes you might want to consider investing in some.

How are you going to handle the set of emotions on your plate? You will have to find a way to soothe or baby yourself without incorporating food in that plan. It is as if the relapse has made you sick or depressed, and you must first deal with those emotions, before you can truly get better. The actions of beginning to retrace your steps and start losing again will help, but you will have to forgive yourself for the damage that’s been done, as you frittered away your gains. You will have to see your losses on the scale in a more sacred manner in the future, and covet them. You will have to see them worthy of protection and sacrifice.

How will you start to forgive yourself? Forgiveness is truly key here. Perhaps you can remember you are only human! This weight loss thing and letting go of sugar and carbs (or whatever it is for you, dairy and gluten or is it meat), is all gargantuan! It’s a tough road, but a worthy journey. Those who avoid certain cravings often live longer, as a result of their reduced size. Those who avoid foods they have sensitivities to, often live better. So don’t be afraid to re-double your efforts and strike out once again to slay that dragon. I say go for it. Do what you can. This just might be your lucky attempt. The one that brings you the joys that you seek. So make a plan and stick to it. And don’t forget to work on those emotions too. They lurk in the background and likely will affect you in a negative manner, if you don’t tend to them.

Best to you,

Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC, BCC
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
The Wellness Coach form Building Better Bodies Rocks
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little Brick in University Heights, Ohio

Leap Into Action!