I know you’ve heard it a hundred times, but it is so true that your life will never be the same once you have kids! Actually it will be better! Really it will be! Children will enrich your life in so many ways, it’s amazing. You will have more purpose and meaning than you possibly know what to do with. You’ll have more people in your life too. And the late, great Chris Peterson, father of positive psychology, says “People matter!” So fill your life with people!
But it is time to check in and find out if you are truly ready to let the free and easy life of the single man or woman or the couple go to the wayside. You have an awful lot freedom now. You may not realize it, but you do. There is no one to feed or clothe, or bathe at the end of the day. No one’s education to prepare to finance. You can sleep for hours or stay out all night or go out of town at the drop of a hat. Do you really want to give that up to take care of someone else’s fever? To interface with teachers and doctors and coaches? Are you sure? Are you ready to be a soccer mom? What kind of a parent will you be anyway? Not everyone is cut out for parenthood. Are you? Is your spouse or partner?
Unfortunately, no one really knows until they traverse that chasm from childlessness to parenthood, if they are ready. But you can never return, unless you are very unlucky and lose your family to some terrible misfortune and even then you will never have been without child. You will still be forever changed. Face it, once you’ve been a parent, you are a parent forever.
Some people never even wanted children. They have ’em, but they never wanted them. Some grow to love them and feel lucky they were pushed in to it. But for you, my friend, you will have to move heaven and earth to get your baby. You have a choice! Are you ready? What makes you know you are ready? What experiences tell you that you must pursue this path to get your baby?
Once you are able to answer these questions you are well on your way to having your darling little one (or two or oh my goodness three) through surrogacy!
Tell me below what peak experiences make you know you were meant to be a parent. Convince me you are ready to have that baby.
All fertility problems aside, if birth control were actually in the water supply, would you be one of the lucky few who would do whatever it takes find antidote so you could move on to become a parent?
Lisa J Lafave, PhD, MBA, ACC
The Surrogacy Coach from Surrogacy Rocks
CEO & Founder of Coaching Rocks, LLC
A Single Mom By Choice Raising Surrogacy Twin Boys
Written in My Little a Brick in University Heights, Ohio